In the initial days of Cookie Cutter, a friend remarked that the person I am in here is kind of different from the person I allow myself to be in the real world. This means that my friends out there know a somewhat different Sandy from the one you guys know here. The thing is, this friend prefers the Sandy he sees here and feels this is where I let my real self surface. I thought about this. The good thing is, this means Cookie Cutter is successful on a personal level. I enjoy doing it, some sweet readers have kindly said they like it (thank you!), and it’s a piece of work born out of my true self. On the other hand, the troubling implication is that the “real world” is like a masquerade for me. This would be the extreme but yes, there is a gap between my so-called two selves. This friend added that the consolation is that with my taking the leap and channeling my energy into creative work, I have narrowed the gap significantly.
I hope that one day, my two selves will be merged so that there will be only one me. It’s tough because we have responsibilities to fulfill and there are certain expectations that come with them. But it’s just too tiring to be changing masks all the time. What about you? Do you find yourself changing masks too (please tell me I’m not the only one with this problem)? Have you successfully achieved a singular identity?