Adieu

I haven’t explicitly stated it here yet—I left a company which I spent 2 wonderful years with last Friday. If ever there was a dream company, this little company I am proud to have been a member of comes pretty close. I had great colleagues who genuinely cared and we all thrived in an homely and flexible work environment. We were not just colleagues. We were friends. We were family. We worked hard and we played as hard. The only problem was, it was in an industry I did not quite identify with. I tried but it isn’t my calling. As I walked out of the door last Friday night, I turned back for one last look, hoping to lock the image in my memory.

Since I was a kid, I have opted for the “safe route”, doing as others wanted me to. Because this pressure to please others is so huge I made myself believe that this kind of life is what I ought to pursue. Sewing, decorating, drawing etc. are all mere hobbies, relegated to the “free time” which has been diminishing over the years. I always felt restless and unfulfilled. I kept thinking that I haven’t found my call in life. So when asked what it is I want to pursue, I always replied that I still don’t know. But from time to time, I would hear a voice in me telling me that I really love creative work. I feared that if I snub it out again and again, one day, the voice will be gone. And I’m not sure if I will still be me So, I made the painful decision to leave my stable income job and dive into the unknown. I came to terms with the fact that I knew what I wanted to be all along. I was just in denial because it was unconventional. But I needed to give myself a chance to become all that I can be. It’s awfully scary because my eyes cannot pierce the distance and I don’t have a good view of what the future, or even the next months, would entail. Believing that my passion will lead me is all I am holding onto.

Today marks a new beginning for me. I feel like I am actually living. Wish me well and stay with me here on this journey?